Self-Respect // Breakdown

"I'm sorry I look like a mess. I didn't have time to do my hair this morning."

Hi everyone! Today I just wanted to talk about self-respect, which is something I've mentioned several times on Nerd Glasses and Wanderlust and will definitely continue to.
Why do we apologize for our appearance? When we haven't put effort into how we look, it feels like we have this natural tendency to say that we're sorry. First of all, it's not something to apologize for, and second of all, hey, it's not something to apologize to someone else for. You could be in a T-shirt and sweats, but it's not fair to call yourself a mess. Besides, unless your appearance will magically cure cancer, it's not as though you're not fulfilling some unspoken duty to the world.
I generally judge people not only by how they treat others, but themselves, too. I have to admit that I'm a person who relies on self-deprecation for humor often. But what about when I'm being completely serious? It's not nearly as enjoyable to be around someone's who's constantly negative ... or someone who thinks that I'll look at them any differently if they're not dressed their best.
Here's the difference: light-hearted self-deprecation would sound something like, "I'm so clumsy. I literally crash into everything I pass." As a self-identified klutz, I know that I trip frequently and I've had many awkward moments, and I acknowledge it. At the same time, I know that it's not something that's going to save the world if I get right, so it's not like I sit at home and cry about how graceful everyone I know is in comparison to me. But if you said something like, "I'm literally the ugliest person in the entire universe! EVERYTHING about me is so terrible," that's completely different. I usually don't make comments about my appearance or someone else's appearance for humor, because I don't find it funny.
Self-respect is something that people don't place enough emphasis on. The Golden Rule is to treat others the way you want to be treated, but does that include yourself? I feel like it's just as important to love yourself and to look past your flaws, because in a way, that can determine how much other people like being around you. An openly insecure person probably isn't too shy to tear down someone else, so self-respect and respect for other people really do go hand in hand.
Remember this: it's easy to preach, but not as easy to follow through. Go look at yourself in the mirror once you're done reading this post and compliment yourself. It doesn't have to be physical, since that's not all there is to a person. You could talk about anything, from how much you love your eyes to recognizing how proud you are of how you did on that last science test.
No. I mean actually go and do it. It might be one of those things that you think is stupid and worthless, but it's not. It goes a long way, and I'm happy to say that I'm a person who has so many moments where I just feel beautiful.
Before I finish this post, there are just a few things you should take away: love yourself, compliment yourself regularly, realize that it's okay to loosen up once in a while and just make fun of yourself, and NEVER apologize for your appearance.
And if all else fails ...

xx Sneha

The Kimye/Taylor Feud // Breakdown

Back in 2009 at the VMAs, Kanye West uttered the fateful words "I'mma let you finish" as he interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech for Best Female Video and explained why he thought Beyonce should have won the award. (Google "kanye west taylor swift vma memes" and explore the results. Please. There hasn't been a more meme-able incident since.) This feud started 7 years ago and probably won't be ending anytime soon.

Beyonce herself was horrified, and I can't imagine how Taylor must have felt responding to that, because she was standing there while Kanye gave a speech insinuating that she didn't deserve the award. Many celebrities came to Taylor's defense, including President Obama and, yes, Katy Perry. Kanye, supposedly feeling regretful for his actions, publicly apologized to Taylor. He eventually backtracked - when, in an interview with The New York Times in 2013, Kanye said he wasn't sorry for the VMAs incident and that he'd only apologized because he'd caved in from societal pressure.
Even though he made that public statement, he and Taylor have actually been friends since. Taylor seemed to have forgiven him, and when he announced last year that he was going to run for President in 2020, she offered to be his running mate.
And then Kanye showed that he wasn't done throwing punches, even following his newfound friendship with Taylor. This year, he released his song "Famous," featuring the lyrics "I feel like Taylor and me might still have s*x / Why? I made that b*tch famous." The world was sent into rage mode, with some calling Kanye "creative" and others saying that it was a really messed-up move on his part. Taylor even called him out in her Grammy acceptance speech:

“And as the first woman to win Album of the Year at the Grammys twice, I want to say to the young woman out there, there are going to be people along the way who try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame. But if you just focus on the work and you don’t let those people sidetrack you, someday when you get where you’re going, you will look around and you will know it was you and the people who love you who put you there, and that will be the greatest feeling in the world.”

If possible, things escalated further when he included Taylor in a series of nude wax representations (among them being Rihanna, Kim Kardashian, George W. Bush, and Donald Trump) for the "Famous" music video.
Taylor and her team then made the claim that they were never asked for consent to include those lyrics in his song - or to include that nude wax representation of her in his video, which he would have probably had to do. Kim Kardashian (Kanye's wife) stepped up in a GQ interview to call Taylor a liar who was taking advantage of how easy it was to play the victim, and went so far as to say that she actually had a recording of a call in which Kanye asked for Taylor's permission to use those lyrics.
Drama.
Taylor's team tried to make sure that Kimye didn't release the recording of the call, but Kim, in an attempt to defend her husband, Snapchatted the full recording. Be prepared for some graphic language.

Take note of the fact that while Kanye informed her about the line "I feel like Taylor and me might still have s*x," he never mentioned that he would refer to her in the next line as "that b*tch." At the same time, this made Taylor look bad, because she'd previously made it seem like Kanye never called to ask her for approval of anything. Taylor took to social media to defend herself.

That moment when Kanye West secretly records your phone call, then Kim posts it on the Internet.

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on Jul 17, 2016 at 9:14pm PDT

There are a whole lot of sub-feuds that evolved from this, including the Chloe vs. Khloe drama.
So what do I think?
First of all, why the heck did Kanye record the phone call in the first place? That's crazy sketchy to begin with, but his side claims that he records everything he does because they could include it in a future documentary.
I'm with everyone who thinks we should move on from this. I might be leaning more towards Taylor, though - let's be honest. Would you want Kanye West to call you "that b*tch" in one of his songs? I don't think it was right for her to act like she wasn't aware of at least the lyric "I feel like me and Taylor might still have s*x," however, and I can see where people who say she's just playing the victim are coming from.
Taylor also does have the grounds to sue or pursue legal action, since it's a crime in California, where this took place, to record a phone call without the other person knowing. That's why whenever you, for example, would contact an insurance company, they always have to make it clear that the call is being recorded before the conversation begins.
The most horrible part about this is that other than that one Instagram post Taylor made, she hasn't said much. She hasn't written vengeful Tweets like Kanye has, and, hey, she doesn't even have a Snapchat. She's been pretty much innocent this whole time and hasn't tried to add any fuel to the fire, yet all these people are blaming her and calling her a liar.

Conclusion:
1) let's all mourn for Tom Hiddleston 👏🏽
2) this is probably a publicity stunt

xx Sneha

LGBTQ Rights // Breakdown

In honor of LGBT Pride Month, I decided to do this post, which has been sitting in the back of my head for months.
You may have already heard about the shooting in Orlando, Florida a few days ago at a gay nightclub called Pulse. It's the largest mass shooting in US history, with 50 dead and 53 more left with critical injuries. The shooting was most likely a hate crime - someone had to lose control and be disturbed enough by people loving who they want to love that they'd murder.
Personally, I've never found anything wrong or sinful or weird when it comes to homosexuality. Sometimes, homophobia is faith-based. And other times, people are just scared of what's different. Love is love. When a gay person chooses to love someone of their own gender, it doesn't affect anyone else. That's their own life decision, and I firmly believe that they shouldn't be treated any differently because of it. Why should they feel uncomfortable being who they are?
Above all, while being gay or bisexual might be an important part of your identity, it's not the only. I wish we could live in a world where being different doesn't matter - where we can look past it. A world where a gay person coming out would be hardly something to blink at. Where the word "normal" doesn't even play a role in our world's dynamics, because it's not a natural assumption that everyone is straight.
I definitely want to acknowledge transphobia and bathroom rights for transgender people. I'll just define "transgender" accurately first.

Basically, a transgender person is someone who doesn't feel like they're the gender printed on their birth certificates. They prefer to experiment with the stereotypes of the opposite sex. That could refer to a boy who grew up playing with dolls or trying on makeup, or a girl who liked to play with Hot Wheels and Legos. When you think about it like that, it's really not a big deal. A tomboy could very well be considered transgender. 

It's disappointing that anti-LGBT laws like the Public Facilities Privacy & Security Act, or the North Carolina bathroom bill (which states that in government buildings, trans people must use bathrooms that comply with the gender printed on their birth certificates) still exist. The law immediately received a lot of backlash, with some bands, singers, and other performers cancelling all of their shows in the state of North Carolina. The United States Department of Justice even sued NC Governor Pat McCrory, the North Carolina Department of Public Safety, and the University of North Carolina system for directly defying multiple civil rights acts that have already been passed. Transgender people who don't/can't modify their birth certificates are immediately prevented from using bathrooms that fit their gender identity. In North Carolina, only people who undergo sex reassignment surgery (surgery that changes your gender) can alter their birth certificates.
But let's look at it from an alternate perspective. A cisgender (someone who is not transgender) man might feel uncomfortable if a trans man who still looks like a female uses the same bathroom. Sure, there are virtually no transgender rapists and the probability of being assaulted by a trans person in a restroom is extremely low. But at the same time, there's still a chance that a trans man, since he'd still look feminine, could be assaulted by a cisgender man when he steps foot in the men's bathroom.
I personally don't have an opinion in this situation, because there's always some unavoidable downside, and I don't agree with the whole for-the-greater-good thing. If you're against the bill, cisgender people will feel uncomfortable. If you're for the bill, transgender people will feel uncomfortable. And if you're neutral, if you believe in there only being unisex bathrooms, it's generally inconvenient for everyone. I do think I'm leaning towards the against-the-bill side, because when a cisgender person feels uncomfortable, they're judging people merely by how they look. That's why I'd like to give a shout-out to Target, which announced that employees and customers can use the bathroom that complies with their gender identity.
And then there's complete, horrendous transphobia. One cisgender woman walked into the women's bathroom at a restaurant and apparently, another customer using the bathroom lashed out, believing she was transgender because of the way she looked. The cisgender woman later shared the experience on social media, stating that she'd gotten a taste of the day-to-day prejudice trans people face.
Whether you're gay or straight or trans or cis, you're perfect just the way you are. Homophobia or transphobia is terrible, and we shouldn't promote that idea.
Let's wave our rainbow flags.

xx Sneha